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Standard disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or anything to do with it. Although I'd like to! Some guys own it at Sunrise and TV Tokyo. Lucky...
This is a 1x4 fic. Yaoi. I have to learn how to write a lemon. Slight angst. Heero's hurt. A little OOC on Heero's part, but none the less, Heero.. It's one of my favourite pairings and it doesn't happen too often. I'll have to remedy that won't I...? //...//=Character thoughts {...}=Heero's Conscience
Bold=Lyrics
Soul of Outer Space
Find me here,
speak to me I want to feel you;
I need to hear you
You are the light that is leading me To the place where I find peace again
//What was I thinking? I had no right to talk to him like that. It was my fault he ended up in the infirmary. Damn it! He never talks anymore...not like he ever did to begin with. I miss his stare. He always made me feel needed. Just sitting alone in his room did him in...//
You are the strength that keeps me walking You are the hope that keeps me trusting You are the life to my soul You are my purpose You are everything and how can I stand here with you?
//Maybe I'll just go and see how he's doing...// And not be moved by you "WHY??? Why did they do this to me?" A very distraught Heero yelled from his window. "I didn't ask for this!" Heero had been bandaged up from his last mission that went horribly wrong. Horribly, as in Duo tried to help but just got in the way, and to top it all off, Quatre almost got himself killed. "My Quatre. Does he know how much it hurt me to see him lying there helpless when Sandrock couldn't get up? Sure he was OK, but it was still bad. Jumping in front of the shot destined for me..." Heero trailed off as someone knocked on his door. "Anou...Heero? Are you in there?
//Of course he's in there. Where else could he be?// "Um, do you need some company?" Asked Quatre, walking in without being addressed. "Hn..." Heero pretended to be asleep. (Author's note: How many people do you know that go 'Hn' in their sleep? Me either. Quatre was obviously no exception.) "Heero. I know you're awake. You never sleep all bunched up like that, and especially not on the window seat. You were never one to sleep sitting up." Said Quatre, walking across the room to what appeared to be a sleeping pilot. "Heeeeeero..." Quatre leaned in close and whispered Heero's name in his ear. Heero shivered and opened one eye. All he could focus on was his dark room and whisps of blond hair in front of his face.
{He's here in the room with you and you pretend to be sleep. Baka. How could you destroy the perfect opportunity to tell him how you feel?}
//Are you crazy?! He would push me off like the garbage I am. I could never be with him. He deserves so much more. And, 'Baka' is my word. //
{Listen to yourself. You want him and I'm pretty sure he wants you. Look how close he's standing. Practically in your lap. Talk to him.}
//Sigh. Alright.//"Huh? Quatre what're you doing in here?" Asked Heero, opening up both eyes and stretching a long, lazy stretch. "Is there a mission?" "Um, no. I was just wondering if you needed any company or if you were feeling well enough to eat. And you know better than accepting missions in your condition. Trowa made dinner. He's asking if you wanted any. It's chicken soup. Pretty good too." Quatre caught himself babbling, but how could he not? Looking into those pools of blue. //Almost like the oceans back home. // Thought Quatre. "No. I don't think I could stomach it just yet. Thanks anyways.." //Did I just say thank you? // Would you tell me how it could be any better than this? You calm the storms You give me rest You hold me in your hands and take my breath away Would you take me in? "Oh, alright. We were just wondering. I thought it was still too early. If you wanted to join us, we were going to play some cards tonight. It'd be great if you could come down. Anyways, I'll leave you to your rest." //Sure, just leave. // "Anou, Quatre?" Asked Heero. "You don't have to leave just yet. I mean, I've been lying down for three days. I need to sit up and talk to someone." {Sure, talk to someone. Sure, Odin. He'll never suspect that. Clap. Clap.} "Sure! What do you want to talk about? You know what happened to you. Um, what about the other guys? I want you to tell me the complete dirt.. No matter how disgusting or degrading. I want it all." Heero was taken aback by Quatre's sudden need for gossip. He knew the other pilots never talked about themselves and Quatre (or anyone for that matter) would be naturally curious. "Um, I don't know that much about them but there are a few things." Said Heero, smiling for the first time since the accident. "But you have to promise to lie about knowing anything if they ever find out. You never heard it from me." "Alright. Get on with it!" "Well, let's start with Duo. This may take a while. Let's start simple. He snores. Loud. Like a chainsaw. I have to stuff my ears with cotton balls if I ever expect to sleep. He tosses and turns. Kicks. Oh boy, does he ever kick. I have some words of advice should you ever hook up with Duo. Never sleep facing his back. He'll kick in the middle of the night and sack you so hard. You'll feel it for weeks." "Ouch. I think I can feel it." Said Quatre. "While we're on the subject of sleeping, how good is he in bed Heero?" "Um, I refuse to answer that question. It's against my constitutional rights. And besides, it's none of your business." "Aw, come on. I just wanted to know the dirty stuff remember?" "Alright. Well....he's not bad. Actually he's rather good. I haven't slept with many people but I'd have to say that Duo was one of the best." "One of the best? Who else has there been Heero Yuy?" Asked Quatre accusingly.
"Now that you've mentioned it, you have to continue." "I do?" //Shit. Now I've done it. // {You sure have Odin. Remember that he's never going to tell anyone. He has your complete trust.. And in turn, you have his. You could do anything to him in this room and no one would be the wiser.} //Shut up you. You're going to get me in trouble. // "Well? Are you going to tell me or do I have to knock it out of you?" Quatre asked, raising his fists. "No, I'll tell you. It was...//Oh God. //...Zechs Merquise." {You did it! You deserve a cookie!} //Shut up. Now I've done it. He's getting redder by the minute. Just watch, he'll lash out and hit me and I'll never see it coming. He's my friend...// The silence was unbearable and Quatre finally broke it. "Whoa." Was all he said. He stood up and went to the bathroom. After getting a drink and settling down again he spoke. "Never saw that coming. One question. Why Zechs? He's such a stuck-up snob. You could have had anyone, like one of us. I mean, before you started with Duo, I was free..." Quatre trailed off suddenly realizing that he'd said too much. Getting up to leave, he was stopped by Heero holding onto his wrist. "Don't go. I heard what you said. Did you mean it? You would have gone out with me?" "Without hesitation." Blushing, Quatre sat back down. Not facing Heero, he finished what he started to say earlier. "Before you started to date Duo, I was looking for someone. Trowa had gotten over us by then, and I'm sure he wouldn't have tried to kill you." Heero laughed at the last part. //Kill me indeed. Whose catch phrase is 'Omae o korosu'? Hn. Baka. // "I had no idea you felt this way. How long were you going to wait before you said anything?" Asked Heero, who'd miraculously scootched closer to Quatre. "As long as it took. I was afraid you'd hate me. I mean, you and Duo looked so happy together. I didn't want to ruin that. But now that you know how I feel, are you upset?" "No. But because Duo and I are together, I shouldn't break up with him this way. We could always have some behind-the-back nookie." Said Heero slyly. "Heero!" Yelled Quatre. "What are you saying? I would never!" "Not even if I did this?" Asked Heero, whose hand was gradually getting closer to Quatre's crotch. He started to rub the bulge there ever so slightly. Quatre shivered at the contact and looked Heero in the eyes. "Why Heero?" "Because, ai shiteru Quatre." "Heero, I don't speak Japanese..." Said Quatre weakly. His arousal had made itself known, and Heero was groping it fiercely.
"I...I don't know what you just said, but say it again..." He was so turned on now, that Heero stepped back to admire him through heavily lidded eyes. "Quatre, I said 'I love you.' I know you think I love Duo, but it's just a war comfort. That's all. He knows that. We don't really love each other. It's the only way to keep our minds off of the casualties of war." Would you take me deeper now? 'Cause you're all I want You are all I need You are everything Quatre was shocked. //Did Heero just say he loves me? I must be cracking up. I had the Kool-Aid a little while ago. Yeah, that's got to be it. But it's the way he's looking at me. I've never seen him so...happy. // "Heero, I...I don't know what to say. I love you too. I just never had the time to say it to you. If you could find some way to break things up with Duo, I'll give that hand something real to grope." Said Quatre, taking control of the situation. "Come here." Heero didn't know what to do, so he did what he was told. Following orders what something Heero did without question. Except this time he had a question. "Quatre?" Asked Heero. He felt uneasy about not following orders, but he needed to know something. "Are you doing this just for something to do? Like a war comfort too?" "No. I really, truly, love you. Sometimes I think I couldn't live without you, but then Trowa came along and the feelings ebbed and died away. It wasn't until we broke up that they came back. Please Heero let me love you the way you should be loved. It shouldn't be for comfort against the bitterness of war, but because two people love each other and would do anything for them. Please?" Heero couldn't hold the seventeen years of tears back anymore, and let them come. He fell over onto Quatre's shoulder and the small pilot caught him. "It's alright Heero. I'll never let anything happen to you ever again. Not even if it means risking my own life again, I'll do it." "Arigato." Said Heero, as he drifted off to sleep. Although Quatre didn't speak any Japanese, he somehow understood what this word meant, and hugged Heero tighter. "Arigato, I like that..." Everything...
Lyrics? Lifehouse